In the middle of the broth making, meat blending, egg finding, and night waking, it is easy to forget the progress Ellie has made and the celebrations we have in only a few short months time. It has NOT been easy, and the decisions have often been difficult, but we are moving forward. As Ellie nears her second birthday, I start to panic about small things like:
*she still has a pacifier
*she still eats from only a bottle
*she shows no signs of potty training....
And I am often reminded of these things when out in public. Comments such as 'what is in the bottle?', 'are you feeding her coffee?', or indignant 'she still wakes at night?' can catch me off guard. And though my insecurity may be high, my mommy radar often picks up looks when my 22 month old is reclined on my lap drinking a bottle (that is brown) instead of eating finger foods, or I allow her to have her pacifier without a second thought. She looks older than she is which doesn't help. She has always been in the 90+ percentile. So for sanity sake I must stop and force myself to think of how far she has come.
Last year on the morning of her first birthday she was gifted her first rectal scope and biopsy. But in the last few months things have changed. So as she nears her second birthday, here are a few that I do my best to remind myself of often:
- She is no longer on a lab made formula.
- She is showing almost no hypotonia.
- She has advanced in communication skills.
- She no longer reacts topically to many things.
- She has not had a full blown FPIES episode since we started GAPS.
- She is only waking twice a night now.
- She is no longer showing extreme sensory sensitivity and is even touching and putting some foods to her lips.
- She eats REAL FOOD!
And all of these things I must celebrate. They are progress. They are hope.