Chew

Ellie began refusing food and being fed at about 10 months old.  She has not taken a spoon ever since. A combination of associating food with pain, never allowing her to put things in her mouth for normal development milestones, not being able to eat food, and an entire list of other factors have created a toddler who is almost 3 and still on the bottle ... or so we thought until recently.

Specialist appointments and two feeding evaluations have left doctors saying her delays are not physical, but are entirely developmental.  They all agree she needs intense therapy and now has full body hypersensitivity.  We were introduced to body brushing and the importance of desensitizing the mouth.  The toothbrush introduction went semi-o.k.; the body brushing was way too much for her to handle.  Instead we use our hands to put pressure on various areas of her body and help bring awareness to things other than her mouth and butt.  We especially use this when she gets a bump or bruise because her sense of pain is completely exaggerated.  One skinned knee brings hysterics, and I quickly learned that if I grab her and begin applying pressure to other areas of her body she has an easier ability to calm down.

About 4 months ago I was attempting to 'brush' Ellie's teeth when I discovered what appears to be a class 3 (perhaps a class 4) lip tie.  I soon learned there are lip ties, anterior tongue ties, and posterior tongue ties. Having one increases the risk of having another, so I want to be sure she is examined for all three.  Research has also shown that there are only a handful of doctors in the country who are trained to diagnose and treat posterior tongue tie.

Big Sister was born with a class 1 tongue tie, and it is one of the biggest mommy regrets I have.  I listened to the pediatrician who said 'oh tongue ties are over diagnosed - she will be fine', and the result has been speech and feeding issues.  It took months of fighting to get her a frenulectomy at three years old.  It could have been a no risk office procedure when she was an infant.  She has gone through feeding and speech therapy, and at 6 years old she still has trouble swallowing and speaking.  There is a chance she has an untreated posterior tongue tie.  NOW I know that tongue and lip ties are most likely completely underdiagnosed.

For 4 months I have searched for someone to examine both girls, as well as fix the problem.   Finding a doctor, oral surgeon, or dentist who is trained in posterior tongue tie, uses a laser, and also does pediatric sedation, is almost an impossibility. The Intenational Affiliates of Tongue Tie Professions, founded and led by Dr. Kotlow of NY, has given me help on the search; yet everyone I called was either unable to treat the posterior tongue tie, did not do pediatric sedation, or could not do a lip tie this severe.  We are applying for Ellie to be seen at the local Shriner's for her spine and mouth, but this is of no help to Big Sister. I began to think I would have to fly them both to New York.

A friend looking for her own kids led us to a pediatric dentist 2 hours away.  He does not do pediatric sedation, but is experienced in posterior tongue tie and considered an excellent laser dentist by Dr. Kotlow. Not covered by insurance, an evaluation will cost me $75 per kid.  Tomorrow morning we get up extremely early to make the 2 hour drive to Sonoma, and I think this will be $150 well spent. And I believe Ellie is ready.

On the final day of Team Ellie, I was witness to one of the biggest miracles I had seen in some time.  At Ellie's last O.T. evaluation it was strongly suggested that we feed her meatballs.  Meatballs she can feed herself, are safe, and provide new texture.  After at least 6 months of trying to bribe, beg, and manipulate her to eat a meatball, on May 10 she asked for one, put it in her mouth, and spent 45 minutes carrying around, sucking on, and attempting to bite pieces off of meatballs.  I was floored.  She has slowly progressed from that day, and now she will willingly feed herself soup and participate in dinner. I can no longer let her carry around food that she is not ready for, because she may take a bite!

It is not in the plan for either girls to receive surgery tomorrow morning, but I am anxious for the information an evaluation will give us.  Big Sister needs to eat without gagging, and Ellie needs to learn how to chew.  It's not often I am excited about a doctors visit!

Not My Idol

I grew up in the church.  Having had my fair share of mission, ministry and overall church experience, I feel fairly well equipped to say that the Western Protestant church lacks in the area of addressing food.  In fact, most will quickly put up a defensive wall regarding all things food, and limit its spiritual implications to food laws being old testament, and 'all things in moderation' justifying most everything else. When we ventured down the eye-opening path of Ellie's healing, I found myself ill-equipped to manage the balance between trusting in food and trusting in God.

There is no doubt in my mind that information on GAPS was divinely placed directly in my path.  It has opened doors once unimagined, and created a healing hope that was non-existent in Ellie's future. At the same time, I have often been reminded by other GAPS moms that it is God that does the healing.  During the 10 days of Team Ellie I felt compelled to be sure I had laid the burden of healing Ellie where it should be - at the foot of the cross, and that the food changes we have made in our home have not become an idol.

The real food world of bloggers has created some interesting dynamics.  Various food perspectives and experiences are thrown about, often condemning opposing views, and lately there seems to be a surge in accusations of food idolatry. Ironically, at the same time as I began my ten days dedicated to Ellie, a small group of Christian bloggers launched a real food attack, blogging about those who shamefully damn souls and stop spreading the love of Christ for the sake of maintaining self-righteous eating habits. As I read through their posts and a few others I found, I realized that there were indeed some points that held true.


In the last 15 months I have learned how incredibly important it is to remember that the God of the universe does not operate bound to the laws of the universe - He did create them, after all.  He can heal (or not heal) whenever, wherever, and however He chooses that will most effectively glorify Him.  In addition, one quick read through the Bible will confirm that food is much more spiritual than any mainstream Westerner would like to admit. Eating, fasting, and hunger are referenced throughout both Old Testament and New to illustrate the power of God.  To ignore these references is to ignore the spiritual implication of food.

Ironically, one lesson that was difficult for me to learn was that while it is inappropriate to preach food over the love, mercy and grace of God, I don't have to sacrifice the well-being of my children because other people feel uncomfortable.  I will not tell my child that there are certain times it is acceptable to eat something harmful, any more than I will tell them there are times it is acceptable to lie, cheat, or steal.  We do the best that we can, and we often fall short in all areas (fast food anyone?) which is where we rely on the incredible grace of the cross.  Our God is not a God of grey; He is a God of black and white.  That being said, there are times as an adult we are called to ministry and asked to sacrifice our bodies knowing that God has asked us to trust Him.  This may be realized through surviving without running water, living in a hostile war torn territory, or sharing a potentially harmful meal, just to name a few.

Yet thanks to FPIES, the focus in our home has been food for so long, I still wondered how that was manifesting spiritually. Long gone are the days of carved images representing fertility or rain or good crops.  Generally speaking, mainstream America recognizes idols as statues of wood or stone; yet it is possible to make an idol out of anything, and food is no exception.  I took this to the Lord, and I asked Him to show me: had I made food an idol in our home?

What I found was one of those rare times that I received reassurance instead of reprimand. I was reminded of the path He orchestrated for Ellie, leading us to GAPS, and showing us the proof - she is getting better. I was reminded of the countless times I learned something new and amazing, and how every time without fail it brought me back to the feet of Jesus in an effort to express awe at His perfect creation. From the sun, to bacteria, to the basic functions of the body (poop!), science can only begin to see the tip of how we need the world as it was designed. That is not an idol; that is properly placed praise. Food is not an idol in our house.

For the first 18 months of Ellie's life I fought doctors and mainstream medicine for answers, and treatment protocols, and demanded the cure. I spent every day reading as many medical articles and studies as I could find, piecing together concepts in one spot with information in another.  I examined existing treatments and was devastated beyond belief when I was told 'we don't know'.  I clung to the hope that medicine would have an answer, and I scrounged through every medical journal I could find looking for it for 18 months. Trusting anything for knowledge, power or provision instead of God creates an idol. I had made medicine the idol.

James 5:14-16 instructs:  Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

The dietary changes we have made in our home are a reflection of our experiences and evidence seen in one amazing little girl.  We have watched a toxic little body rid itself of symptom after symptom with God-given, properly prepared, and healing real food. I believe the lessons learned are universal.  But we are all in different places in our journey and in different stages of healing - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. May only God get the glory every step of the way.

Matthew 5:13-14
You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

May I always be salt and light.

Answered Prayers

May is incredibly busy for our house as I finish up the school year (work) and get checked out for summer vacation.  This year feels as if I am trying to run at the speed of light as we move into some particularly large transitions for our family.  It has kept me from updating as much as I would like about the amazing answers to prayer we have been seeing.  May has most certainly been a month of planning, reconciling, and preparing for change.


Shortly after the 10 days of prayer began, it was clearly impressed up on me that Ellie needs fish and fish broth. I have not put much effort into feeding her either because truly wild white fish is hard to find. Most of California's streams are stocked with corn and soy fed fish, and finding ocean fish takes more searching.  There is a local business at the market I attend that rarely has broth parts but does have filets.  Snapper is the one I have been putting the most effort into getting my hands on because it is the most recommended by Sally Fallon (WAPF).  I did purchase a snapper filet and fed it to Ellie during the 10 days, and she did great with it. Unfortunately she would eat about $20 or more a day of fish using this business as a source. There is no way we can afford that.  I did some research on how wild fish is handled and packaged, and while it is not ideal to feed her fish that is not fresh, has been handled by many, and has traveled long distances, it appears to be our only cost effective option at this time.  One of the local supermarkets had wild snapper on sale, so I purchased a case.  Next step is to find whole wild fish or heads and tails to make broth. Most supermarkets don't have this as their fish arrives already fileted. We have several salmon parts in the freezer but she needs the white fish for other nutritional support.

I am very grateful for being shown this piece of her puzzle, and the search for wild ocean fish has begun. I suppose I was given an excuse to hit the beach!

Small, GIANT Successes

Things have been so incredibly busy and full of new progress that is has been difficult to find the time to update.  Days 3 through 7 of Team Ellie have brought some seemingly small, but in reality extremely large successes for Ellie. Some of these leaps have come after months and months of hoping and waiting.  While we have made some adjustments to her routine and treatment, there is absolutely nothing that be credited except for prayer. Prayer has done amazing things for Ellie in the last 6 days!

Some examples:

Ellie does not like to let us near her mouth.  It is usually a fight to brush her teeth and we have to do everything with the promise that we won't shove a food in there or do something unexpected.  Her teeth are not developing properly because she doesn't chew, and because of her lip tie.  She has this yellow mineral build up on her teeth that is left from the formula she was on, and some of her teeth have not come all of the way in and still have skin over the top because there is nothing pushing down on them from chewing.  She never had the opportunity to even gnaw on something because we were always taking things out of her mouth to keep her from vomiting.  This week she has decided she has 'dooty teeth' (dirty teeth) and has been letting me floss them daily! Slowly the yellow is coming off and her teeth are looking better.

This week we started Ellie back on her topical glutathione (liver enzyme) for the third time.  The first two times it appeared that it either didn't help and/or it made her eczema worse. I was concerned that after all the research I had done to find the cleanest possible base she was still not tolerating the added ingredients.  That may very well have been the case, but this time she seems to be doing great! Her eczema is clearing which means she is detoxing the right way instead of through her skin.

By the first day of Team Ellie I was getting concerned that she had a staph skin infection again.  A couple of weeks ago we let her play outside in a cheap plastic baby pool filled with unfiltered water, and the result was chemical type burns on her butt cheeks.  It was not healing and I was beginning to get worried at how it was spreading and looking like staph.  Within 24 hours I saw that the prayer had changed things dramatically, and today it is almost entirely healed. 


On another note, I celebrated earlier in the week because Ellie was showing obvious signs of detoxing (properly) for the first time in 15 months.  There are several signs, but one of them was that her urine was darker and had a new smell.  It took a couple of days to get to the bottom of it, but the truth was that her older sister was secretly peeing in Ellie's training potty and leaving it for me to dump. This resulted in a good laugh between the daddy and I (sheesh).

After some bumps in finding the right adapter we have fluoride free water, and are cleaning out the freezers of broth and meat made with fluoride - using some up while we refill the freezer, and then tossing the rest.  I am really excited to see how much of a difference this makes for her.

She had a three day streak (pun intended) of pooping without help which was awesome....but that has stopped and tomorrow we resume GAPS constipation protocols of daily enemas.  I have been so busy with my work schedule the last two days that it was not until she was in bed that I realized she had not pooped all day.  Major fail. Bummer.

And I should also add that she has a new food!....sort of.  We have started giving her fermented zucchini juice as a part of her daily probiotic support and she has done fantastic! In fact, she has shown no signs of adding it at all.

I am so grateful for those of you praying.  She has had some amazing growth and success since May 1, and it is all because of Team Elie.  I feel so blessed to see and feel the hand of God working in such an obvious way, and we have felt it within other areas of our family life as well.

Prayer requests:

I have had decided to turn in an application to the local Shriner's Hospital in hopes that their specialists can help with the lip tie and evaluation, as well as the spinal MRI. They have great resources there for the treatment she needs.  Please pray that should it be the Lord's will, her application will be reviewed quickly and they will agree to treat her.

Ellie needs a new, all natural, chemical free mattress.  The one she is sleeping on is very toxic for her.  Please pray that we will be able to save up the $400 needed for this mattress.

Next up is a new food trial! I am extremely nervous (for seizures mostly).  We have a few things to choose from.  Please pray that I know which to try next.

And I am in need of some wisdom regarding a couple of other supplements - whether to give them to her or not.  Prayers for that would be fantastic as well.

7 days!

7 days of intense prayer for Ellie has shown amazing things - things we have been working towards for months that have been realized in a matter of days.  I can't help but wonder what else God has in store!