Treading Water

As I ran my hand over Elianna's back tonight, and then to the backs of her knees, I gave glory to God for the miracle unfolding - the clearing of her eczema. I have often begged that we would find a cure for it before she was old enough to notice her body covered in the dry patches and learn to be self-conscious of it. We are making progress as we have just barely begun the GAPS Introduction diet. I have been moving slowly in an effort to monitor things closely, but it is time to pick up the pace. The broth and additional meats added are giving her much needed nutrients, but the corn based formula has brought back inflammation, and I am watching her little eyes change and her body begin to puff. Her cough is not going away from her recent virus, and we are having to administer albuterol via nebulizer every night. And she is hungry. Believe it or not, she wants food and she is looking to fill her belly. Perhaps the broth is not filing her up like the heavy, dense formula was. Perhaps her throat and body are feeling better. Or perhaps she has just finally tasted actual FOOD and is liking what she tastes.

I can not take her off of the formula, as it is adding the additional things she needs. I can not move forward with her yet, because I don't have her on a probiotic. The probiotic is critical for healing her intestines and stopping the reactions. But the right one is equally as important. There are an unlimited number of bacteria in one persons intestines, and many are not yet known. We commonly hear them referred to as 'good' or 'bad' flora, but an imbalance of 'good' bacteria can be just as detrimental. Which one is it? How do I know?

I feel the clock ticking again as we stand still. The broth will only sustain her so long, as the formula makes her worse again, and keeps her from entirely healing. She needs more caloric content than the broths are providing, and at this point she is still refusing to actually eat the pureed meats. I can only get so much into her bottle. Tonight I gave her nectarine puree at dinner and she happily lapped it up. She has become quite skilled with her little spoon. But minutes after taking her down from her highchair and putting her in the bath, her daddy called me to make observations. She was lethargic, slow, goofy, and drunk-like. BIZARRE! Only last night had I read about how an intestine overrun with certain flora can be fed with sugar, and then produce a type of alcohol, causing a drunk-like effect. Had it not been for the fact that I was the one reading the book, and Daddy was the one that made the observation, I would have found it too coincidental.

Time. This all takes time. Find meats, research meats, make broths. Get on a set schedule, keep feeding it to her as close to every hour as possible. Homeschool big sister, do household chores, feed the rest of the family, and let's not forget work a 3/4 time teaching position. Time is becoming more and more scarce. As is money. Buffalo meat today was $23.99 per pound.

I find myself observing the next crossroads on her treatment, and more decisions are about to arrive. I am grateful and feel thoroughly blessed for two weeks of success and immense progress. But now we are in a hold pattern, and for Elianna it can only be for a short time. One foot in front of the other. Day by day. Decision by decision. Asking for wisdom, looking for guidance, and not taking for granted any connection or incidence that has been put in my path.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. To give you a FUTURE, and a HOPE. This is what we hold to for Ellie.